Memories
I remember there was this one girl named Sarah in first grade who liked me. She would chase me on the playground and try and give me kisses. On the playground we had these huge tires that were half burried in the ground. You could hide inside them. One time Sarah ended up cornering me in the tire and planted a kiss on my cheek. I wasn't really interested in her though. Instead I thought another girl was really cute. I don't even remember her name. I think it started with a K. She ended up moving away.
I got into the only thing I would ever consider a fight because of Sarah. Some guys were being really mean to her and it made me mad. This was during P.E. when we were running laps. Everyone had paper cards that they got hole punched for every lap completed. I walked over to one of the boys and initiated some shoving. Then he tore my card up. I tore his card up too. We couldn't very well run laps without getting our cards punched, so we proceeded to go tell on each other to the coach. We both got punished (time out during recess I think).
I used to be a pretty loud and obnoxious kid. I wasn't afraid to speak my mind. I thought I was the smartest kid there was. I always tried to answer the questions the teachers in class asked.
Then something happened around middle school. I became more reserved. I became almost afraid to speak up in class. My grades started slipping. I began to lose confidence in myself. My dad mentions this every now and then. He talks about how much I changed in that time period. I think he's saddened by how I changed. You can tell in the tone of his voice when he mentions it. He used to say that he never knows what I'm thinking or feeling.
He says that he's noticed how much I've changed since I've been to college too. He seems to think that I've changed for the better somehow. I don't get it really. I mean sure I've grown in some ways, but I don't feel like I've taken a new direction or anything. Sometimes I wish I could have glimpses of how other people see me. I feel like there's a disconnect between how I see myself and how other people see me. Maybe that's part of why we need relationships, so we can get a clearer picture of who we are.
May 19th, 2009 - 18:52
That is what is so awesome about our relationship with God, there is never a disconnect between us and Him and the way He sees us. Thank goodness He looks at us through the lense of His Son!!! So for the record, I think you are awesome, just the way you are!!