Landan Land The Personal Blog of Landan Crosslin

Water

One of my favorite directors, Andrei Tarkovsky, understood the power of water. It constantly changes it's form, never the same. Film can capture it's essence in a way that no other medium can.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXyKlqS07tc]

I love the rain. There's something innately divine about it. Almost all religions give water some sort of significance. It's the force that gives us life. We are dust and water, but more so water.

Jesus describes himself as the living water. Whenever I think of Christ in terms of water, I think of a raging river or a downpour of rain amidst a thunderstorm. It's forceful, carrying you along with it. I was baptized at the age of 16, almost 17. In my denomination it's generally considered that 12 is about the proper age to commit oneself to Christ. I put it off. I'm not sure why.

My baptism was largely uneventful. It was on a Wednesday night. A handful of people were sitting out in the pews. My dad baptized me in the baptistery. The water in the baptistery is stagnant and unmoving. That's not to say it isn't clean, but that it's lacking in force. It's a just a big bathtub filled with the blood of Jesus. I went in and came out. Several people came up and hugged me while I was still wet. I didn't feel a whole lot different, just a little more grown up maybe. If anything I became a worse sinner right after my baptism. A couple of months down the road and I came across ideas I didn't know how to explain away. I got into situations I didn't know how to handle. All along my pride was pulled behind me, obscured from view.We're all constantly being washed clean again. We need it.

Whenever it's raining I feel like God is close by. Sometimes I like to go out and let the rain pour over me. It soaks into my clothes and into my skin. It drips from my hair onto my nose and cheeks. The sound of thunder seems to be the voice of God. Somehow rain can assuage all the doubts that seem to keep my faith in a constant state of tension. I stop thinking and I just stay there in the moment. Nothing but me and water.